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What it Takes to End a Relationship

Ending relationships are not easy, although there are people who believe that it depends on the level of the relationship if it is easy to end or not. The pain and torment of actually leaving or being left could just be the same as being dumped. When you feel like it is time to end and put a relationship to a close, you have to think of the reasons why you should do it and ponder on it for a few days before you walk out on a person. When you feel like you are certain to breakup with your partner then it is crucial to bear in mind that you once loved and cared for the person whom you left. Remember that you can be honest and sincere without being brutal and mean and you have to be sympathetic and responsive without making the person hope and anticipate that there could be an “us” in the future. You can go by with a little diplomacy, sensitivity and understanding. Before ending a relationship, you have to: 1. Be sure that it is what you really want and not just because you are losing in your argument. You can list down all the possible reasons as to what is making you unhappy and unsatisfied in your relationship and identify those reasons that you don’t have a power to fix. 2. Clear your mind before you make a solid decision. You might just be caught up in the spur of the moment while doing so. If in an argument, allow yourself to calm down and clear your cluttered head. If you’re just having a bad day or a bad week, let it pass first before you decide. If possible, ask someone whom you trust if it is the right thing to do, you might be able to use their insight. 3. Make sure you do it at the right time and at the right place, it could be somewhere private and exclusive so you two can talk personally. Consider their situations as well, never break up before or during important tests or exams in school or when he or she is stressed from work. Be considerate and think of your partner’s feelings, even if it’s going to be for the last time. 4. End the relationship in person. You once loved and respected that person so give him or her the breakup that he or she deserves. Do not break up with them over the phone or thru text messaging. Yes, it could be heartbreaking, distressing and tragic for the both of you but do it the right way. You can only break up with your partner over the phone when you are involved in a long distance relationship. During the breakup, make sure you are: 1. Firm about what you have to say and make sure you tell them everything , from your concerns, to your worries, to your decisions and to your reasons. Get straight to the point and tell them that it isn’t working anymore. 2. Be sincere with your feelings but make sure not to be mean and savage. Be honest and tell them why you need to breakup in a gentle but firm manner. You do not have to go into the small details when you are explaining why you have decided to end the relationship, unless he or she demands to know it. 3. Breakups are never pretty so expect that your partner won’t take it lightly and might have a bad reaction towards your decision. They could be shocked, panicked, and hurt and they could be angry and start screaming and shouting. If things get too heated up then give them space to absorb the news and let them know you are willing to talk when they have calmed down. 4. Build and create solid and conclusive boundaries when you start the process of moving on. Discuss it with your ex-partner so they are aware what they’re allowed to do or if they are even allowed to do anything with you at all. And after the breakup, you should: 1. Do not push and try to be friends with each other, especially when the other one is not ready yet. You might end up giving him or her a hard time moving on if you try to stay close to them. You have to spend the time apart, it could be for a few months, or probably a year and let the wounds heal and when you do see each other by then, it won’t be as painful as it was and then maybe you can be friends. 2. Even if you are the one who broke up with your partner, you still need time to heal and deal with what you have lost. It doesn’t actually mean that when it is you who initiated the break up then you aren’t hurt at all or you are very happy that it happened. No, it is not like that as the one who left and broke things off is in as much pain and grief as the one who was left alone. 3. Try to enjoy life after the break up and try finding yourself in the process of moving on. You will realize that after a few weeks from the breakup, you will start enjoying your life again, it could be your job, your work, your friends, your family or yourself. You can already get in touch with your friends whom you stayed away from after the breakup and you will realize that you appreciate them and your family more than before. You can also try to begin something new like attend a cooking class or an art session or venture into surfing or skiing. Make yourself busy and enjoy life! You just have to remember that you have to be sure with your reasons, your basis and your purpose in breaking up with someone as it is not easy to mend something that’s broken and you just cannot go back when you feel like you have made the wrong choice and decision. Think about it hard and when you sure, that is when you do it.

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